Guilt

Posted Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Proverbs 21:8, The way of a guilty man is crooked, But as for the pure, his conduct is upright.

Being restored to our former state is not the purpose of repentance. In repentance we will always lose something, most often our pride. He must increase and we must decrease. To retain the sense of guilt after forgiveness is simply to mourn over what was lost.

There is a strange feeling that we get when, for instance, crossing the desert, hearing an unusual noise coming from the car’s engine, and knowing something is out of sync. To feel guilty is to feel strange. We all know that feeling. We sense that something is wrong and needs fixing. We are created by Christ, held together by Him, and He is written throughout our being. To invite something that is anti-Christ into our being will make us feel strange in that His life is repelled by it. Sin is simply anything that is anti-Jesus, anti-Matthew 5, 6, and 7. This “strange” feeling will not leave us until we invite the sin out. In the Old Testament the sin was taken out of people and placed upon a ritual animal, thus providing a sacrifice for sin. There is a tendency to focus only on the sacrifice for sin, but the freedom from guilt is equally important and came at the point where the sin (the thing that was anti-Christ that we invited in) was taken out of the person; the Christ that holds man together stops fighting against the sin, and the former sinner has peace. To have all our sins placed on Jesus, to have the struggle of our being cease, and for Christ Himself to flow unhindered in us brings a peace that the world does not know. Any time we are sick of feeling “strange,” we can confess the sin, invite it out and on to Jesus, it will leave, the struggle will stop, and we will have peace.

Simple? Well, what about the person that goes on feeling guilty long after he has confessed the sin, invited the anti-Jesus thing out of his being, and, according to the authority of Scripture, has been forgiven? Why does the feeling of guilt hang around in some people? This lingering feeling of being “strange” has led many believers to the conclusion that they were not forgiven at all, that they are, in fact, castaways, that they have fallen from grace, and that they have crucified anew the Son of God. They begin to consider themselves analogous to Esau. Hebrews 12: 14-17, Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal. For you know that even afterwards, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought for it with tears. Now, this is an interesting passage in light of many others, such as I John 1:9-10, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us. The mention of Esau is used to reinforce the difference between law and grace. However, many use Esau as an example of a man that had gone too far, so God was in no way going to receive him back. How can that be? Well, we stand or fall not in what we do but why we do it. Esau was not repenting because he felt “strange,” felt guilt; Esau was repenting because he had lost something other than the peace of God and wanted back what he had lost. His repentance was faulty. Repentance based on losing something other than the peace and fellowship of God is based in the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life. Look at Judas, the betrayer, for example. Judas and Peter both denied Jesus and sold him out, one for silver and one for the comfort of his own flesh. Peter found repentance, for he had invited in something that was anti-Jesus, he felt very strange, could not stand to feel that way, invited it out, and received the forgiveness of Christ in his soul. However, Judas’ repentance was based in pride; he was so upset and obsessed with his poor performance as a man that he killed himself. Often guilty people commit suicide, and the root of that is always pride! They just cannot come to grips with their failures. If Judas could have gone back in time to undo his failure, he could have stayed in pride; his bad flesh could have remained hidden and his good flesh put on display. But Judas would still be Judas, not as interested in Jesus as in his own desires! When Judas saw that he was not ending up looking too good, he wanted to die. If he were fundamentally interested in Jesus, he could have failed and still had Jesus, just as Peter did. Judas could not come to terms with his failure. Pride! Esau wanted to go back in time, but what did he want when he got there?

In reading the Bible I cannot find that God says anything positive about man (with the exception of The Man). Do we think He is surprised by our failings? No, He is not, and therefore He has made a provision for them. When we have felt “strange” long enough, we can truly repent, the sin lifts, and His peace comes. However, it is no good seeking forgiveness so we can have something returned to us other than the full flow of Christ. Many look for repentance to have their image restored, to feel good about their flesh again, to undo a mistake that cost them financially, to be able to stand again in a place of self-righteousness, to avoid embarrassment or shame, or even to have emotional experiences, and all of this is done with tears. This simply is not the appropriate purpose of repentance. Did Esau want God and the joy of moving forward, or did he want the birthright and the ability to go backward? In Hebrews it is quite clear what Esau was up to; he wanted the inheritance, period. The purpose of repentance is not to go back and undo a mistake. The purpose of repentance and forgiveness is to go forward with a greater revelation of the love and peace of God. HAD ESAU REPENTED BECAUSE HE WAS FEELING “STRANGE,” HE WOULD HAVE FOUND RESTORATION. That does not mean he would have gotten his birthright back, but if the peace of God were the goal, he would not have cared. Esau’s heart was revealed. We are in this life for Jesus, not for any material or self-righteous attainment. If I lose all my self-righteousness, my possessions, and my image but retain the peace of God, then amen!

Any time we have a sense of feeling unforgiven even though we have confessed, we can ask ourselves a simple question: “Did I repent for the return of His peace, or did I repent to regain my lost ground?” Then we need to say, “I do not care about the attachments of the flesh or about the past; I invite out everything that is anti-Jesus. I recognize that even my desire to regain what I lost is anti-Jesus, and now I want You, Jesus, to fill the vacuum that has been left when my sin was placed on you.” You will find everything for which you are looking once you are looking for the right reason. We can tell if we are repenting in order to have something other than the peace of God return to us. It will be revealed if when the enemy reminds us of stupid things we have done in the past, our response is an ensuing sense of dread or fear. If God has forgiven us, why do we have the sense of fear and dread? Both of those have their roots deep in the fear of man or our own pride. We cannot stand to remember that we failed and are not better than others (pride), or we fear the loss of image. If we do not like the fruit, the solution is to lay an axe to the root. Invite out the fear of man, the embarrassment of failure, and the disappointment at a loss of standing. Let Christ come. Repent of both the initial sin and the pride that wanted Jesus plus something else. Actually, it is pride to think that if we went back in time, we would do better!

We stand in our why. Are we saying that we can stop doing something because our flesh got stronger, or are we saying we can stop doing something because we have moved up a gear in faith and believe what He says He has done for us? We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Action is to be based on His previous action. We are to walk sinless because His action makes such a walk possible. We live a very high life based on a work He has done. We need to take up our mats. The man in the Bible had to take up his mat, but his action was based on something that Jesus already spoke. Some can only say they will not look at porno if the why is based on the fact that Jesus has set them free. And if Jesus has set them free from one thing, then how many things are included after the one? One will lead to many. We should never vow that we will not do something if it is because we think we are strong enough to keep the vow, but if we have had the revelation of Him keeping the vow in us, then that is the proper order.